Headship in Marriage
God has established the man as head of his family, this doesn't mean that he is better then his wife or children; only that he has a God given position to fulfill. From the very beginning God place the man in a place of headship of his wife. Likewise the wife has a God given position to fulfill; each will give an account of their stewardship. In the eyes of God, each of us man or woman, is of equal value.
Genesis 3:16Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
All through scriptures we find this principle that God has set the man in a place of headship over his wife. In every society this is a recognized fact but the problem is this:
Most men don't know what it means nor how to fulfill the headship role in a Godly way. They think headship is dictatorship. It becomes that, without Christ.
From the New Testament
1Corinthians 11:3But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.
Eph 5:21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Eph 5:22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
Many men in trying to function in a headship role, try to control everything, many times to the ruin of the family.
What most forget it that God gave them a helper, their wife who has been endowed by God with abilities and gifts.
An illustration of foolishness
A certain man brought his family to financial ruin by his inability to manage the household income, they had to file for bankruptcy and lost everything that they had.
Let us take a closer look.
The man had no skills at all in management, in fact he couldn't even balance the check book
The man had no control over his personal spending habits, although he did with his wife and children.
When his wife added a job outside of the home to her responsibilities, she soon realized that extra money didn't solve their financial problems. WHY?
It only gave the husband more money to control.
The sad thing is that his wife had excellent management shills and was very conservative in her spending habits.
Tip: More money does not solve money problems.
What does it mean for the wife to submit (yield) to her husband?
Is there times that the husband should yield to his wife? In the above example it would have been wise for the man to yield to his wife.
1Ti 5:14I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
The word guide in some translations is translated:
Rule the house or manage the house.
The wife has a God given responsibility to manage the house not the husband.
Where there is responsibility there is authority.
A certain preacher came home with muddy shoes, his wife stops him at the door and says "take your shoes off". He should.
The wife spent the last couple of hours mopping and waxing the floor. She has the responsibility therefore she has authority. That is not usurping her husband's headship, that is her exercising her right to manage the house.
In the illustration of the husband who brought his family to bankruptcy, the wife had every right to take charge of the finances for the good of managing the household.
Ephesians 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
In his normal tone of dominance the man proclaimed "I'm the man of the house" as his wife walked out the front door with her few processions packed in her worn suitcase.
Go and learn what it means to be the man of the house.